The Case of Miss R. (Psychology Revivals) by Adler Alfred;

Author:Adler, Alfred; [Adler, Alfred]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor & Francis Group
Published: 2013-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter IX

The Masculine Protest

DOI: 10.4324/9780203386897-9

When I was fourteen, I resumed my swearing at my parents and at God

We must assume that difficulties have entered the life of the girl as they come across the path of every spoiled child. It is impossible to continue such pampering forever and this swearing means nothing other than anger at the deprivation expressed in degrading remarks.

The pampered child struggles for the continuation of the pampering. One can give the word “pampering” various meanings and say, “I understand this or that by pampering.” But that is a waste of time. The moment she believes she is not being sufficiently pampered, she attempts in her rage to degrade the others. For herself at least, the child is in the foreground and overrides the others. Scolding is an attempt to degrade others. With the exception of very few children, every child has gone through some phase of being spoiled. This phase is present in the style of life. The interest in favorable situations is sharpened. The chief concern lies in the endeavor to regain the pampering. The trait to dominate, to tyrannize, is developed. It is apparent that scolding which is directed toward stronger persons and God cannot be separated from the feeling of one’s own superiority.

(Case: A girl who had an illicit love relation suffered from the fixed idea that every one was a murderer. She was the oldest child, spoiled, ambitious, and brought up by her grandmother. When we hear the word grandmother, we can predict the pampering. When she was sixteen, she began an affair with an older man. That signifies weakness and a desire to be pampered. The saying goes “An old man’s darling.” The affair lasted a long time and is explained thus: I am stubborn and want to have my own way, and this man is also stubborn so we have decided not to marry. That is the logic of the neurotic. The man was good, gave in to her in almost everything and withheld his approval of only one thing—her cooking. The girl took particular exception to this. One day this girl witnessed a murder in the neighborhood. That was a terrifying fact for her. It made a deep impression upon her. She used the word as a condemnation of civilization in order to degrade every one and everything so that, as a consequence, she seemed to herself to be the only pure and innocent one left. We shall see how and why she does it.

Her lover had avoided introducing her to his family, and she could not endure it. We could have predicted that she would not be able to endure a free love relationship. She would feel herself confined and protest vigorously. During the war her lover was sick and she went to much trouble to provide milk for him. When she finally had procured some milk his mother took it from her but then shut the door in her face. This girl was in a situation in which she valued the man because she needed him.

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